Traveling the world can be an adventure filled with unforgettable experiences, and sometimes, it’s the funny moments that make the journey even more memorable.
Whether you’re backpacking across Europe, cruising the Caribbean, or exploring the mysteries of Asia, a good laugh is a universal language that connects us all. So, pack your sense of humor and enjoy these humorous travel quotes that will hopefully bring a smile to your face, no matter where you are on the globe.
50 Hilarious Travel Quotes
To change it up, I included my own spin to these quotes, sharing a snippet of my own adventures and memories after each, bringing these words to life with tales from my travel diary.
“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag
For the insatiable traveler, this quote is a witty nod to the never-ending bucket list. We’ve decided that our travel bucket list isn’t actually in a bucket anymore. It’s more like an expandable pocket dimension.
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain
So true! Traveling together non-stop for a year is how Micki and I learned marriage could work for us. If you can survive months living in a tiny van and still enjoy their company, you can likely get along forever.
“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal”- Paulo Coelho
It’s only funny because it’s true. Statistically, train connections in the USA are safer than getting out of bed every day. When in doubt, ride a train!
Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for. – Anonymous
Who knew that birdbrained might actually be a complement to some people. Having wings would be handy at times though.
“Jet Lag is for Amateurs.” – Dick Clark
This playful quip reminds us that true globetrotters know how to handle time zone changes with a grin. While it affects us all one way or another, pushing through it means you can get on with your journey sooner. Onward and upward!
“Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore
A humorous observation about the less-than-glamorous side of air travel. It’s why we always laugh when people go out of their way to look good on their passport pictures. We’ve found it’s better to look so run down that no matter how badly you’re doing on your day of travel that they won’t think something is wrong with you. Same logic applies to your driver’s license.
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Caskie Stinnett
Routine is just one of the many things nomads and wanderers try to avoid. Why have a repeat of yesterday when tomorrow can be anything?
“I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m headed to the airport.” – Anonymous
For those who find the allure of the airport irresistible, this quote is a humorous nod to our wanderlust. We purposely bought a house on one side of the city just to be closer to the airport. Just saying…
“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth, it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” – John Green
For me, this is a clever observation on the liberating spirit of travel and the adventures we’ll find when embracing that freedom. If the devil on your shoulder wins over the angel, that’s on you and not your destination. 😉
“There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” – Anonymous
We’ve all felt the post-vacation blues, and this quote captures that sentiment perfectly.
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin
A humorous take on the metric system by the legendary comedian, encouraging us to think differently about distances. One trick to happiness when traveling is to always round up or down until the number seems palatable. If you’re on a tight budget, forget I said that though.
“I follow my heart… and it usually leads me to the airport.” – Anonymous
Another witty testament to the heart’s desire for new adventures and experiences. While some people dread airports, we’ve always loved them.
“No place is ever as bad as they tell you it’s going to be.” – Chuck Thompson
Whether it’s travel, a movie, a book or a meal, always take other peoples opinions with a grain of salt. Most experiences are unique and we’ve both hated a city and loved it, with our expectations being the only difference between visits. Finding a nice place to sleep and a good restaurant goes a long way too.
“I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation and I’m ignoring them all!” – Anonymous
The perfect motto for anyone looking to temporarily escape the stresses of everyday life. Or, sell all your belongings and move your problems to another country where at least they’ll have a different accent.
Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything. – Steve Martin
A good reminder that there is no word for sorrow or regret in Timatuathian. Of course that language itself doesn’t exist so why would those two words exist anyway?
“Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life.” – Michael Palin
Ah, the joy and pain of the travel bug. It has a ferocious bite and often refuses to let go no matter how many miles you’ve put on or the amount of countries you’ve seen. The more you see, the more you realize there is to see and therein lies the problem.
Witty travel quotes, the second half
Remember, as St. Augustine once said, the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page. So turn the page, explore, and don’t forget to laugh along the way!
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket, and that’s kind of the same thing.” – Anonymous
A lighthearted reminder of how travel can bring joy into our lives. While it doesn’t take a lot of money to travel, more certainly never hurts.
“My favorite thing to do is go where I’ve never been.” – Diane Arbus
A simple yet profound statement about the essence of exploration and discovery. While it’s often the new that drives some, sometimes it can also be the old that they prefer to see in their rear view mirror.
“I would give up traveling but I’m not a quitter” – Anonymous
This quote is another playful turn on the hard work ethic and how sometimes when faced with adversity, it’s best to just bear down and keep at it, even if it’s enjoyable.
“A tourist is someone who drives thousands of miles to get a photo in front of their car.” – Anonymous
A playful jab at the classic tourist photo, this quote pokes fun at humans often absurd travel habits. Don’t worry, we have dozens of those pics as well. For instance, here we are in front of…
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker
This quote humorously captures the irony of trying to blend in, only to be spotted a mile away. We have tons of pics over the years wearing certain clothing from Thai pants in Thailand to an Outback hat in Australia and all they scream at us now is tourist in bright letters.
“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta
A funny reminder that travel can render us speechless with its beauty before filling us with tales to tell.
“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu
This ancient wisdom reminds us that sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. While I’m guessing Lao wasn’t spanning the globe, pretty sure he enjoyed his travels and was secretly prophesizing about his luggage never arriving.
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
While not overly humorous in it’s own right, it does remind me of a story about a friend who decided to forge his own path once on a hike and ended up needing to be cut down from a tree hours later. It was a thing but definitely adds to the adage that a good journey can be made great with a little extra humor thrown in.
Hilarious and inspiring travel quotes, the third half
Sometimes all you need to add to a travel memory is a dash of humor to make it unforgettable. Here are some more funny travel quotes to awaken your wanderlust.
“People don’t take trips, trips take people.” – John Steinbeck
While the imagery of a trip as a literal persona kidnapping a person, throwing them on a plane and making them have fun makes me laugh, this is in truth a thought-provoking quote that suggests travel has the power to transform us.
Side note: A Transformer named Trip would be just as amusing to me.
“A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of home.” – Carl Burns
This ironic quote captures the contrasting perspectives of the traveler and the stay-at-home dreamer. While we often dream of things we miss, having the ability to miss them in the first place is reason enough to jump on a plane and go someplace for a while. Perspective often needs distance to achieve itself.
“Travel is like an endless university. You never stop learning.” – Harvey Lloyd
A reminder that travel educates us in ways that go beyond traditional learning. I recall our trip to the Galapagos Islands where we not only learned about Charles Darwin’s thoughts on evolution but also the fact to get to the ferry early so we don’t have to sit in the open back for 2 hours getting soaked from the rain…
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.” – Tom Lichtenheld
This funny quote definitely highlights the trials and tribulations of traveling with family. While new places and activities can hold some interest, 2 snippy children will argue no matter what’s in front of them. However, now they get to do it in another country!
“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
Winston obviously knew what it was like driving in LA but I digress, the truth is that a journey isn’t over until it’s over and even then, you might not end up where you thought you would. The unknown is half the fun.
“Live your life by a compass not a clock.” – Stephen Covey
Obviously Covey wasn’t a clock maker, but his adage remains. It’s the direction we take in life that determines our situation and that can’t always be done on a set timetable. Inflexibility in travel means inflexibility in life. Bending a little sometimes gives you a different view on where you are and where you’re heading. It’s also good for the back and knees.
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”- Anthony Bourdain
Anthony loved travel, meeting new people and trying new foods. Sure, that 2000 calorie piece of cake shouldn’t be on your everyday menu but are you seriously not going to try it once? Live a little.
“Don’t tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you travelled.” – Mohammed
The difference between knowledge and wisdom can often be measured by the amount of footsteps we’ve taken to get there. While the scholar reads about it, the traveler experiences it, tastes it, smells it, and digests it in such a way that they’re forever changed. The willingness to put oneself out there continually and the wisdom gained from such actions can speak volumes about a person.
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.” – Dr. Seuss
Dr. Seuss’ characters strode the globe in their pursuits to teach and entertain and often found humor in the most unlikely places. I once found it in a sock, under a rock, in a shoe, surrounded by goo and so can you.
“It is not the destination where you end up but the mishaps and memories you create along the way.”- Penelope Riley
Another quote not so humorous in it’s wording but funny in the mishaps department. Some of our most memorable moments on the road happened due to one mishap or another. Even our worst travel day ended with us saying “at least it will be an entertaining story one day.”
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” – John A. Shedd
A classic example of a travel metaphor implying that we aren’t meant to stay in one place forever. We need movement to fulfill our purpose, regardless of the outcome. Though imagining all of us as little ships with legs walking around everywhere is also pretty funny to me.
“The further I go, the closer to me I get.”– Andrew McCarthy
Me is a person on the other side of the world doing something amazing at any moment. The closer to me I get, the more me I become. While I can’t always be me, I get solace in knowing that me is out there and I look forward to the day I get to be me again.
“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” – John Steinbeck
As Micki and I get closer to celebrating our 20th anniversary, the truth of this statement hits me. It’s all about the journey. Preventing the boat from capsizing isn’t about control, it’s about paying attention, watching out for hidden rocks and moving and changing with the river as opposed to fighting against it. Like a journey or a marriage, a river will take you where rivers take you. Enjoy the ride.
“That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.” – Anonymous
We’ve been guilty of this dozens of times. For a while, everything we displayed was from another country or another trip. These days we’ve packed and unpacked our things too many times to even bother showcasing them anymore but we do own some nice boxes. That one we filled in Thailand, that one in Australia, that one in South America…
“Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Anonymous
We’ve all done it though now we’ve learned from our mistakes and realize that in life we often dress to impress. The beauty of travel is most people don’t see you every day. Learn to get creative with your outfits. Maybe buy a nice hat and look out the window more often.
“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” – Erol Ozan
When you’re too busy following the path, sometimes you don’t realize you’re actually missing the journey. Explore beyond the path, there is always more to experience. More usually meaning beer, wine, food, music, art, dance and all the other good things in life worth pursuing.
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”- Terry Pratchett
We travel not only to see new things but also to be able to return to things we miss. Like distance, absence also gives perspective.
“Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.” – Anonymous
Don’t be an ironing board is my new mantra. For the record, I also don’t want to be an anchor (it holds people back), a yesterday (it’s never in the present) or a sock (nothing funny, I just dislike socks).
“The world is waiting for you. Good Luck. Travel Safe. Go!” – Phil Keoghan
While travel isn’t always an amazing race, sometimes it can feel that way. Slow it down, explore, enjoy! Now Go!
“Nothing lasts forever, except the day before you start your vacation.” – Gayland Anderson
No truer words have been spoken! Anticipation of an upcoming trip is still high on my list of things I look forward to.
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux
The beauty of a new thing isn’t that it’s perfect or that it will instantly replace everything that was similar that came before. It’s the start of a new branch of something that can one day become amazing and transformative. Air travel started out rough (both figuratively and literally) and has gotten to the point where it can be a joy to sit down on a flight. I am grateful for that.
“You can’t control the past, but you can control where you go next.” – Kirsten Hubbard
Again we talk about control. While our journey should be allowed to happen as it happens, that doesn’t mean that sometimes you can’t point it in another direction. As winter approaches here, south seems prudent to me right now.
“I wonder if the ocean smells different on the other side of the world.” – J.A. Redmerski
Take it from me, it does. Everything does. Expectation often colors our reality. Color away my friends, color away.
“And that’s the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.” – Dave Barry
Haha, family travel is a great way to experience the exact same trip from multiple points of view. A parent and a toddler can have the exact same day yet have very different takes on a situation. Same can be said for travel. Want to see the world differently? Explore it via your children and you’ll have a whole new understanding of the world. Hopefully it’s a positive experience for everyone but if not, at least there’s probably a good story in there somewhere.
May your travels be filled with laughter and joy. Remember, every journey is an opportunity for new stories and a good chuckle. Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer, especially when it comes with a side of laughter!